Carlisle’s Caretaking

Caretakers to the Landed Gentry

  Dear Sir,

 In accordance with the terms of our contract with your company, we regret to advise that a slip has occurred on the main access track of your estate.             We were alerted to the situation by Noddy Notices (a division of Nodwell Enterprises);  apparently Mr Nodwell frequently gazes vacantly out of his window, and in so doing yesterday, noticed the slip.

 Together with Mr Nodwell, we immediately carried out an in situ inspection this afternoon;  we found a substantial amount of recent fill had slipped from just below the new piece of track, about 65m below the deer gate by the shed.   The track itself is not affected.

 We attach photographs:  1) of the back of Mr Nodwell’s head (one of his better features we think) as he gazes towards his opulent house;   2)  another shot of the back of Mr Nodwell’s head (see comment above) as he gazes down on the slip;  3)  a shot of the slip from below which shows that the slip did not descend onto the road below.

 We remain Sir, yours faithfully,

 Carlisle’s Caretaking